


The Heavenly Body

by folerdetdufoler



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Evakteket SKAMenger Hunt, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 12:32:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16854025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/folerdetdufoler/pseuds/folerdetdufoler
Summary: the "northern lights" prompt





	The Heavenly Body

By now Isak could tell what was on the horizon. Even was keeping up with his work but he was talking less, in general. Sometimes the work was the first thing to slip, and other times it was the showering, or the talking, or the eye contact. This time their apartment was quiet for long stretches of the day. Isak didn’t play music to fill the silence, or carry on false conversation. Instead he felt the weight of the silence and tried to judge the best moment to cut into it, like a child waiting to enter their turn at double dutch.

He brought pizza home after work, piled high with a mix of their favorite toppings. Instead of ordering halves to their own liking, they would pick at each other’s slices as they ate. He served up dinner and carried the plates to the tiny table in the corner.

“How was work?”

Isak received a shrug in reply. Work was fine, other things were not. Even ate though, picking away at the pizza like usual. After more silence that could easily pass with eating, Isak got to the point.

“Do you think you’ll stick out the rest of the week?”

Even nodded solemnly. “I can make it until the weekend.”

Isak thought about their date night planned for Saturday and made a note to cancel their reservation. He needed to prepare for a weekend in, cooking more than he was used to, meals that were enticing enough that Even couldn’t resist. He would be fed. Isak used his fork to spear the pile of peppers at the edge of Even’s plate. “I’m going to play with Magnus after dinner. Want to join?” Isak knew the answer but he didn’t let that change his question. Not asking just made things worse.

Even shook his head.

“Okay, well you know how we get. Might want to find your headphones.”

That made the corner of Even’s mouth twitch up. Over the years they had both been working on their trash talking for tournaments with Magnus and Mahdi, but if Even wasn’t going to play tonight then Isak would have to pick up the slack. That meant louder yells and very specific curses about both of their mothers. Isak would have free reign as well, without his partner at his side, gripping his arm when he needed to focus more on strategy than distraction. The headphones would let Even listen to something more his level, sad songs that did the feeling for him and slow songs that would send him to where he wouldn’t have to feel at all.

Isak cleared the table when they were done. Even put the leftover pizza in the fridge. It would come in handy when he wakes up in the middle of the night and needs a distraction. Isak went to the bathroom and trusted Even would follow. They met in front of the mirror and brushed away the sour and spice of dinner. Isak puckered for a kiss when he was done and Even obliged.

“Mmm. Shower in the morning?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Your pajamas are clean. I expect you to look cute once I’ve whipped Magnus’s ass.”

He had to keep their goals achievable. He patted Even’s ass when he retreated to their bedroom. Isak went back to the couch and texted Magnus so he would sign on. He settled in for a couple of hours of barely modulating his voice and showing Magnus, for the millionth time, how bad he was at football.

Around midnight Isak was done. Magnus begged for another round, another chance to redeem himself, and while Isak was very interested in kicking his ass yet again, he also had a job that needed him to wake up at 7. He signed off and shut everything down.

“Even?”

The bed grunted. The blanket moved. Isak didn’t turn on the lights. He undressed slowly so he wouldn’t bump anything and crawled in next to the grunt and movement.

“Are you tired?”

“No.”

Isak felt for Even’s head to confirm that the headphones weren’t going to get in the way. His hands stayed up around Even’s neck and shoulders and he pulled himself in close. “Well I am. Winning is exhausting. I’m going to sleep on you.” Isak draped himself across Even, relaxing his weight on him and adjusting himself for comfort. Anything above his pecs was a bit too bony, so Isak used his chest as a pillow and let Even’s feet cradle his calves.

Isak groaned when he realized he forgot his alarm, just as he was about to drift off. “Where’s your phone?”

“Here.”

Isak sensed the light of his screen from behind his closed lids. “Set it for me, I forgot.”

“Okay.”

Isak heard Even’s fingers tapping, and felt his chest shift beneath him as he moved his arms. Then he was asleep.

* * *

He talked to Magnus while he was at work the next day.

“How long was the last one?”

“I don’t remember. I always forget to mark the end because he’s usually just...trying to move on as fast as he can. But I don’t think there’s ever been a reliable pattern.”

“I just don’t think we should play again until he’s back, you know? It isn’t the same without him.”

“God Magnus, you are so bad at losing.”

“Or he’s just really good at winning and it was his turn to be on my team and we really shouldn’t have played last night because now the balance is all fucked up—“

“Fine! Pause until Even is back. But I don’t know when that will be. This was the first night.”

“You should track it like girls track their periods. Tomorrow is going to be a heavy flow day.”

“What the hell man?”

“So you can measure the swings or whatever. Sara said she tries not to talk to me between day two and fourteen because she knows she’s not in the right emotional space then.”

“I don’t think periods last two weeks, dude.”

Magnus was quiet on the other end of the line. “I...think she called it a recovery zone...or something. But whatever. She says the app tracks her schedule so she can warn me when I need to stop texting her.”

“Have you seen the app?”

“No, but I googled them once. Sounds pretty high-tech.”

“It’s just a diary dude.”

“Okay, sure. It’s a diary. My point was, track this stuff down so you know what to expect. You can be prepared.”

“That’s stupid. First of all it’s gross to track someone else like that. Write down your own daily shits, that’s fine, but don’t be creepy about someone else. And second of all, it’s just Even, not the end of the world, or a woman’s period. If he can handle it, I can handle it.”

“You freaked out that one time though. Asked to talk to my mom.”

“That was years ago! And she was very helpful. But it’s just...Even. It’s different. I appreciate your ideas but I don’t think I can use them this time around.”

“I’ll save them for later.”

Isak laughed because that’s exactly what Magnus was going to do. He could expect to hear about the period app next month.

He did have an idea though, which sent him on an errand after work. By the time he got home with take away Even was already in bed.

“Oi, dinner?”

“What is it?” Even shoved the blanket down so he could lift his head in Isak’s general direction.

“Empanadas.” He tossed a hot foil-wrapped pastry onto Even’s crotch. It would have earned him a more exaggerated reaction at any other time, but Even was barely registering his own hunger at this point. Even sat up and cradled the food’s warmth in his hands.

Isak flopped onto his side of the bed with his own empanada. He was ready to dive in, hungry after a long day, but paused when Even spoke unprompted. “Manager asked if I wanted to take sick days.”

“Did you tell her?”

“No, she just sensed it.”

“She’s getting quick.”

“Or it’s getting worse, faster.”

“If you really think that then you need to—“

“I know.” Even waved him off. They unwrapped their dinner and started eating. Isak reached over when Even would get flakes of pastry stuck beyond the reach of his tongue.

“Are you going to?” Isak went back to the conversation.

“I don’t think so. I made it through today and wasn’t completely exhausted.”

“Well it’s nice to know you have the option if you need it.” It was also easier if Even didn’t have to ask. Even nodded in agreement. They would play it by ear, see if he’d get out of bed tomorrow, get showered, bother with the outside world at all.

They ate. Isak told him about his day, how much Magnus missed him. Isak’s pace of talking and eating matched Even’s slower pace of just eating, and they finished at the same time. Isak took their bundles of foil and swept a palm across their blanket to clear the crumbs to the floor. Even fell back. Isak noticed he’d changed into pajama bottoms, probably as soon as he had gotten home. He wanted to join him but had to fetch his package first.

Even watched him when he returned, with the mildest of curiosity. It was probably more just a reflexive action, his eyes following the movement Isak made around the room.

“I’m going to turn off the light, okay?”

“You’re coming to bed?” Even knew it was still early. He hadn’t lost track of time yet.

“I have something to show you.” Isak was down to his boxers and the box. He picked at the tape until he could open the flaps. “Fuck.” He turned the light back on so he could see what he was doing.

“A projector?”

Isak was shocked that his surprise was ruined before he’d even pulled the gadget out of the box, but quickly realized it was his own fault because it said the name right there on the side. “Yeah. A mini one that runs on your phone.” Isak took out the instructions and flipped through them, reading just enough to get the gist. Then he turned the light back off again and returned to the bed. Even managed to prop himself up on his side in a hint of anticipation. He held up his own phone for light when it became clear that Isak was still struggling with the darkness. “Thank you honey.”

Isak had thought about what Magnus said about being prepared. He was ready for Even’s episode because he could usually see them coming, and he shifted into another mode automatically at this point. But each episode was still unpredictable, and changed Even in different ways. Isak wondered if he should be different too. If it was more than just making sure he was eating and showering and getting enough sleep, taking a step back to just the basics. “Do you remember, back in school, when we were planning our first trip?”

“Morocco,” Even mumbled.

“But you had also mentioned wanting to go north too. You wanted to go to the North Pole.”

“That might have been a joke. Or....”

“Well we talked about it anyway. We were looking at dog sledding and the northern lights and the saunas.” Isak had plugged in the projector and downloaded the app. It was a heavy attachment that made his phone awkward to hold, so he set it down on the bed between them and hunched over the screen. He imported the video he wanted to use. “It sounded fun, and I think it’s still on our list, right?”

“Sure. Maybe not tomorrow though.”

Isak twisted to face Even and smiled wide at the joke. Those were rare at times like these, and just as unpredictable. But he wouldn’t dare try to track them, pin down the flashes of lightness that Even could still manage. “Well we’ll go sled with dogs and turn pink in a giant wood tub and stand under the northern lights someday. Until then though, I want to lie under them with you.” Isak tapped a bit more at his phone and then fell back. A moment later the projector sent soft green light up to their ceiling. Even let his elbow drop so he collapsed next to Isak.

Isak watched the ceiling as long as he could before he caved to seek out Even’s reaction. He turned his head to observe him, but was confronted with a hard stare in return. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I was thinking about our next trip. Because I want to.”

Even knew that was the default answer, the one Isak gave in reassurance and distraction. There was no pity or obligation here, but still he waited for the real one.

“Because it’s going to get dark. Because it is dark. But I know there is also light.” It was never one or the other. It was always both. They existed simultaneously and in the same heavenly body lying next to him. “You only get this light in the dark.”

The green swirled with blue and yellow, fluttering like curtains above them.

“Are you trying to...reward my depression?” No matter Isak’s intention, sometimes his efforts were met with defensive resistance.

“No, I’m trying to show you what I see in it.” He said this into Even’s shoulder, as if he was embarrassed by his hopefulness. Or maybe he just didn’t want to impose it on him. It didn’t really matter what Isak saw, but he still needed to express it, offer it. Even could take it when he was ready.

They didn’t talk for a while. Isak felt Even’s body soften as his skepticism loosened its grip, but it took some time and lingered still. Isak curled into him a bit, getting comfortable. They watched the night sky, this funny trick that their planet could do to remind you of your humanity, your place in this universe. The room glowed.

“It’s you,” Isak whispered at some point. He didn’t look to Even’s face again, to see if he’d heard. He just spoke his truth and hoped it would float above them lighter than air, lighter than the dark.


End file.
